In this blog series, we are sharing some of the healing stories from our recent book: Psychedelic Healing Stories from Australia. In this blog, we share the story of Kerry and her experiences with DMT.
Trigger warning: suicide attempts and suicide ideation
What led you to seek healing through psychedelic medicine?
I grew up with no love, experiencing “trauma by omission” as quoted by Gabor Mate. I hated myself and suffered deep self-loathing throughout my childhood until my first experience with DMT at fifty-eight years old.
When I was ten years old, I developed bulimia and when I was sixteen, I fell in love with the first boy who came along and got pregnant. I was forced to give my first child up for adoption. My self-loathing got worse and I descended into multiple addictions including alcohol, drugs, and always, food.
I eventually started a family but was still haunted by my self-loathing. I tried multiple suicide attempts until my children made me promise not to do it again, but I still wanted to die every minute of every day. I tried every medication possible and every alternative course, book, and modality without relief from the crushing and incessant wish to die. I was a chemotherapy nurse, listening to patients wanting to live one more week, one more month, while my diaries were full of longing for ‘god’ to give me cancer. By that stage, I was deep in the throes of alcoholism and drug addiction.
What was your psychedelic experience like?
I was offered the chance to take DMT by a therapist. As soon as I took the dose, I felt an instant love for self and for ‘source,’ which is something I had never felt before. This experience healed me in a profound way.
How have you been able to integrate this experience? How has it contributed to your healing process?
I gave up all my physical addictions and released my negative and destructive behaviours. I started yoga and Vipassana meditation, which developed my feelings of connection to source. I started to eat nutritious, whole foods and my health has drastically improved. My family and friends are blown away by the changes.
It took fifty-eight years of hell and truly wanting to die every day, to have my healing experience with DMT. I now appreciate life and I have a deep love for myself, and strong faith in my connection to ‘source’, ‘god’, creator.
This book will show you the deeply human side of the effect this medicine can have, and give you hope, inspiration, and clarity around what is possible for Australians when we get fair access to these breakthrough medicines.