In this blog series, we are sharing some of the healing stories from our recent book: Psychedelic Healing Stories from Australia. In this blog, we share the story of Zinevara and her experiences with Changa and MDMA.
What led you to seek healing through psychedelic medicine?
I felt disconnected from myself and from life, like I was standing on the outside looking in. I’d never felt connected to anything. I spent years being told I will never heal from my traumas, that I will always be plagued by its shadow. I could only hope to be accepted as ok, as normal both by myself and others, constantly struggling to keep my head above water. I found psychedelic medicine after doing my own research.
What was your psychedelic experience like?
It was the most life-changing experience that I am still learning from every day. During my trip, I felt safe, gentle, and loved. That’s not to say the experience wasn’t painful. It was like labour, without the physical pain, just the emotional pain. Yet throughout this birthing experience I felt held in love, gentleness, and safety, and I did not feel scared. I did try and fight the process as I didn’t want to face my trauma but the harder I fought, the more I felt loved. This experience was magical, and my deep-seated trauma was diffused in fifteen minutes.
Now I can think and speak about my trauma without the waves of pain that once devoured me, triggering PTSD. I’m no longer attached to my trauma. I feel connected to myself and to life. I experienced so much more than this, like being taken to other places and times but I hesitate to explain this part because the focus of this story is on healing.
I have also found healing through another substance, which with a gentle chat from a trusted friend has allowed me to face the less intense parts of my traumas (I have several).
I want to stress the importance of doing these medicines in a safe place with a safe and trusted guide or therapist. I once had the misfortune of being maliciously triggered by someone while under the effects of a psychedelic and it was a difficult and horrible experience. This is why I STRESS the importance of being in a safe environment with a trained therapist to help deal with any trauma, painful experience, or unforeseen reactions.
How have you been able to integrate this experience? How has it contributed to your healing process?
My experiences with psychedelic medicines have shown me I’m not a lost cause. It didn’t “fix” me in fifteen minutes, but I experienced so much healing. Even now as I unravel the whole process, I find myself smiling. I now have inner strength, and a goal to fight for… me! I have hope that I will be able to heal completely. I am more aware of myself and my triggers, and I have the energy to keep working towards my highest and whole potential.
This book will show you the deeply human side of the effect this medicine can have, and give you hope, inspiration, and clarity around what is possible for Australians when we get fair access to these breakthrough medicines.